Where are your pants?

Today, my last pair of headphones stopped working. Keep in
mind that two months ago I had four working sets.

My first pair of headphones broke when they fell from my ears and became two
lost souls swimming in a curry bowl. Don’t worry; the curry was quite tasty so
there was no drop in moral for me that day, besides I had three other pairs of
headphones that were in easy access.

The next headphones were the cheap kind that you get on an airline. Dad gave me
one of vanity bags from Qantas and lo and behold, there was a pair of earphones
there. I was having problems sleeping at this time, so in order to calm myself
down I theorized that Foo Fighters would help me fall asleep. No, not them in
bed right next to me, but rather their music. I would put a single earbud in
the ear that wasn’t pressed against the pillow. The left earbud had better
acoustics then his eastern counterpart, so I would favor the left side. The
easterner was very offended since he wanted to be heard as well. In protest he
would often creep down to my neck or chest and make a nuisance of himself,
doing whatever he could to offset Grohl’s soothing voice. It’s not comfortable
to sleep on top of a earbud, no matter how small it may be; it will always be
uncomfortable. Well, if you are a formidable size your girth may welcome the
earbud and you will continue being comfortable without conscience of the
earbuds presence. Obviously I wasn’t pleased with the right earbuds actions, so
I decided to tear him out at the V intersection. I anticipated a peaceful night
of sleep, but to my dismay the right earbud was so traumatized by my actions
toward his brother that he stopped working and eventually died of depression. I
dared not disfigure any more of my headphones so I went to sleep without my
peaceful music.

The next headphone fatality was my favorite pair of headphones. I was performing
HIIT when my elbow caught onto the cord of the headphones. A ferocious battle
ensued; unfortunately my elbow turned out to be the winner. Had I not placed
the earbuds so tightly in my ear, the cord would not have snapped. The speaker
portion of the earbud remained in my ear while the cord dangled lifelessly at
my waist. I was crushed at the loss of my favorite pair.

My last set of headphones was my best one. It was ideal for
the computer, having an attached microphone. I must say it was a very nifty
set. I hadn’t used it anywhere but on my stationary computer, now that he was
the last survivor of my headphones he was called into action as a mobile sound
projector. He wasn’t suited for this job very well, he had a six foot cord that
made his transportation very cumbersome. I had just finished preparing myself a
bowl of curry. I picked up the bowl of curry and attempted to walk away, the
headphones, however, had a different idea. His cord had gotten tangled on a
knob that belongs to one of the cabinets in my kitchen. To describe the
situation the best, I got clotheslined. I dropped the bowl of curry and fell to
the floor; while falling I managed to gain control of the bowl. It,
unfortunately, emptied a fair share of its contents onto myself and the floor.
I jumped up off the floor, musing how coordinated I was to have caught the
bowl, and started to move towards the paper towels so as to clean off my
headphones. I then remembered that I had scalding hot curry on my hands and
chest, and that it hurt no matter how manly I am. After cleaning myself up I
came back to my headphones, they were in bad condition. The left earphone was
detached. At least its wires were still attached. I put it back together; but
now only the right headphone will emit music. Oh, I forgot to mention that there
was a small amount of curry left in the bowl and that it too was delicious. The
previously mentioned headset worked for the next two weeks, but sadly, it
passed away today.

All these occurrences happened in the last month. Now here I am on Valentines
Day, lacking the ability to listen to music. It’s a great shame considering I
just completed my collection of Pink Floyd albums yesterday. Oh well, it can
wait until I buy a new pair at the local pharmacy. In my estimation the
earphones were fairly priced, a pair going for $20. Maybe someone could get me new
headphones of better quality. Hint hint.

Bose plz.

Most of the songs on the new album are catchy. Spare me the lyrics that make you cringe.I’ve been listening to the album nonstop, to try and overload myself on
it. No deal. Before that, I just listened to a bunch of awesome music
instead. Didn’t work.
Catchy also means stuck in my head.
And when I get one unstuck, another comes.
And there’s like five of them.

help me.

This aint a scene,

this is madness!

Looking back or actually at the profiles of people here, I’m kinda glad I moved out of Seafield. When viewing the profiles of the folks from SMSS, I’m relieved that I disassociate myself from them. Not to mention the fake people person I met in Kancil. The people in Intec, well you get the idea.

All this because you were stoked on me. Yeah.

ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US
ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US
ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US
ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US
ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US ALL YOUR SPOILERS ARE BELONG TO US
ALL YOUR SPOILERS

That transparent, plastic film on newly purchased DVD’s and videogames
that serves as the final barrier in between you and the euphoria of
this year’s top grossing seller in the box office.

It doesn’t make it’s presence known until that tell-tale squiiirch
of reinforced nylon straining against factory-brand casing plastic. You
try to bite through, but you pull to hard and end up wrenching a
now-saliva laden screen of plastic from your mouth as your teeth numbly
slam together in a blunt ache of despair. And there it is in your
trembling hands, mocking you with it’s blatant unopened-ness.

So close but so far indeed.

Aye, it’s a sorrowful tale in the history of life that always lives
to repeat itself once more in homes all ’round the world. Where are the scissors, God?
WHERE ARE THE SCISSOOOORS?!?!

I, attempting to show that I remembered, sent her a teddybear I made
in Build-A-Bear because we’re miles apart. Today I got an email I never, ever expected in my gmail account.

"Hi!~ I got the bear you sent me in the mail! He’s so
cute and adorable, I love him! I’ve been sleeping with him every night we’ve been apart! Thank you so much of sending him to me!"

WHAT A DOUBLE-CROSSING, TWO-FACED, SACK OF SHITTY FRIEND THAT TEDDY BEAR IS!  WTF!!!!!!

I
build him with my own hands, buy him for a highly inflated price, and
send him to be with her and he STEALS HER
RIGHT OUT OF MY DAMNED HANDS!!! I’M AWAY AT SCHOOL YOU STUPID LITTLE PRICK, NOT DEAD! YOU CAN’T JUST SLEEP WITH WHOEVER YOU WANT,
SLUT!

I just want to curl up into a little ball and die. I have
no clue who to go to or where to turn once I get back home. He’s
probably even sexing up her cat right now. Shit!

A long, look at the wii.

I’ve been thinking for a while, and even though the Wii may start out
small, once it gets a little exposure, it will grow and grow, until it
slowly starts to penetrate the female market. Come Christmas morning,
everyone will wish they had their hands on a Wii, and when children
start using their Wii’s in the living room in front of everyone, their
parents will get curious. That’s when the Wii is really going to
explode across the country. Eventually, it will get so big that people
who don’t even know what a Wii is will want to play with one.
Anticipating shortages, a lot of people will grab their Wii early, and
then hold onto it for a couple months before finally letting the
highest bidder have it to play with during the Holidays.

A
few people might even use their Wii for a few hours, decide it’s not
that fun, and then let their friends play with it instead. I think most
people will be surprised when they first touch the Wii, but then it
will grow on them and they will have a blast. A lot of people dismiss
the Wii without seeing it in person, but I know it’s going to be huge
once it finally comes out. I’m going to set my Wii on top of my PS2, it’ll probably lay horizontal for a while, but there’s enough
room for it to stand vertically once I get the feel for how it works. I
might try putting the PS2 on top of my Wii, but that would just look
strange and might make my Wii too hot or even break it.

One
thing is for sure, my Wii is going to be the center of my home
entertainment center, and I’ll make sure everyone who visits takes a
looks at it and what it can do. Even if they think its name is silly,
once people watch me actually using my Wii, they’ll want to play with
it too, and that’s the key to winning the console war. Not just looking
at pictures of Wii’s but actually going to a store and getting your
hands on one. Needless to say, I’m really excited right now and I can’t
wait to see a Wii in action. The wait before I can finally hold my very
own Wii is killing me though. I’m sure everyone on fs feels
the same.

whats a wii?

A more serious tone perhaps?

A few weeks ago, a friend was to come over because I was going to take her to a movie. Her house was about an hour away and the movie we wanted to see would start in 2. I figured that I’d play Pokemon while I wait.

So there I was, having a good time playing Pokemon Ruby. Anyway, she finally showed up, except she was crying as she walks into my room. Instead of doing the right thing by comforting her, I half-focused on my game and her. She started telling me her fish died, and just as she was getting into it, I got into a random encounter in my game.

A shiny Rattata. Holy shit. I stared into my screen in amazement and yelled "Holy crap, YES", interrupting her mid-story. She sobbed more and started to scream "You don’t even  care! YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY YOUR SHITTY GAME!" I was still looking at my screen, focusing on catching my shiny Rattata, when she walked over, and tossed the game against the wall. I ran over and picked up my brothers GBA SP, hoping that nothing had changed on screen. It turned out she broke the GBA. The SP and my shiny Rattata, gone forever.

I exploded, using every obscenity I knew, and started flailing my arms around. I didn’t know she was behind me, and apparently I back-handed her in the face while I was being a dumbass and swinging my fists around. She yelled out "SCREW YOU", and ran out of my house in tears.

After a few minutes, I just stood there wondering wth did I just do, then I had enough sense (or guilt as some would say) to go out after her. Looking back, it was pretty whacked but we’ve made up since then. Talk about irreconcilable differences huh. Anyways, the lesson is find a gf who doesnt have pets. End.

ps. Shinies. Serious Bussiness.

Cause all of the stars,
Have faded away
Just try not to worry,         <–Dont worry bout them security checks, its fun.
You’ll see them someday,   <–Them as in kith/kin. Someday Im gonna pay that debt.
Take what you need,         <–No need to pack much stuff. Remember redundancy?
And be on your way and    <–For the love of god, just get on the plane already.
Stop crying your heart out  <–Self-explanatory.

Now Ive thought long and hard on the subject and have come to the conclusion that a ninja would get quite a thorough ass whoopin from yours truly. Why did I bother myself with this? Well, more and more people want to be ninjas due to certain shows that have been showing locally. What these narutards dont realize is that being a ninja is like having sex with a virgin. It may seem cool at first, but eventually you’re just gonna get blood on yourself.

Now Ive broken it down into parts to make the comparison to me and your typical ninja.

Ninja Fighting Style: Now a ninja is…..well a ninja so itll be fighting…..like a ninja. Id imagine some punches here and there, but mostly kicks. Kicks to the head and upperbody region I figure would be most likely. Also those little finger jab things to cut off my tenketsu flow.

My Fighting Style: Now I can say that I dont have very much training. I took 2 Karate classes because I won them by drawing the best Ninja Turtle at my school about 10 years back. I received my White Belt. Fitting that what I had to draw is the type of ass I’ll have to kick. But I’ve digressed. Now my fighting style would be rough at best. I dont have much experience physically, but I have watched many Steven Segal films, we know the type of damage he can do. I also enjoy sidekicks with Chuck Norris and the kid from The Never Ending story. I picked up necessary skills from them.

I have also studied every season of the Power Rangers since its been on (Tommy = Best. Ranger. Ever). I can do all the fancy stuff they do, fall to the ground after some sparkles hit me, and then grab my shoulder in agony due to said sparkles. I can jump and fall on my back due to the explosives that went off on the ground a few hundred yards away. The only thing I cant do is morph into an ass kicking pastel colored machine of death. However im working on a functional morpher as we speak!

Ninja Weaponry: Ninja carry around stars. These are called Ninja stars, mostly because Ninja carry them. They have those smoke bombs that make them vanish like crack at Bobby and Whitney’s house. The TMNTs have a vast array of weaponry, however I would ally myself with them ASAP as to have backup.

My Weaponry: Ive been working on some new devices, I have one prototype that I like to call a "Sling-shot" many people confuse it with something called a "slingshot" however mine is better because when im not hunting Ninja I can use it to shoot M&Ms into my mouth. Ive been having a tough time duplicating the smoke bomb, flour isnt light enough and backing powder makes me sneeze, which would alert the NInja scum of my whereabouts.

Ninja Tactics: Now Ninja like to work in stealth, surprising the enemy. quick, efficient, and decisive under the veil of darkness.

My Tactics: I can remedy that easily by carrying around a maglight and flashing it around in a random fashion so they cant attack me. Alternately I can dress up as a blonde white girl, for Ninja are apparently unable to attack such a foe.

Conclusion: Now ive stated my points and I know all of you are wondering how you can join me in my fight against the Ninja bastards, but this is a mission i must take on my own. I will eliminate every Ninja in the galaxy, for they already have a growing resistance on pluto. As I said, after much thought im sure I can kick every Ninjas ass, possibly 2 to 3 at a time.

Thank you for your time and good night! Unless there are Ninja in your room, then it is not a good night.

See I was surfing FS when all of a sudden Abrams appeared in the middle of my profile.
And he said
‘Make the best blog in the world or I’ll delete your account’
I looked and myself and said ‘OK’
And then I typed the first thing that came in my head
and it just so happened to be
The best blog in the world
It was the best blog in the world
Look into my eyes and it’s easy to see
1+1 make 2 and 2+1 make three
Once
every thousand years or so when the sun doth shine and the moon doth
glow Abrams asks someone to make the best blog in the world.
Needless to say Abrams was stunned tip-typed with his keyboard he asked
"(snort) Be you an angel?’
I said ‘nay I am but a man!’
This isn’t the greatest blog in the world
This is just a tribute
Couldn’t remember the greatest blog in the world
This is a tribute.
And the perciluar thing my friends, the blog I created that faithful night didn’t look anything like this.
This is just a tribute
You gotta believe me and I wish you were there.
The greatest blog in the world
The greatest blog in the world
This is just a tribute